Girl on a train.

© Peter W. Marks

Girl on a train.

Uploaded: December 22, 2009

Description

At Reading staion, England

1/100sec; f8; ISO 200; 85mm fl

Exif: F Number: 8, Exposure Bias Value: 0.00, ExposureTime: 1/100 seconds, Flash: did not fire, compulsory flash mode, ISO: 200, White balance: Manual white balance, FocalLength: 85.00 mm, Model: Canon EOS 20D

Comments

Michael Kelly level-classic December 27, 2009

Interesting photo Peter.

This one could use some small fixes. One it could be straightened a touch and two it is very dark. I hesitate a bit to recommend setting because they may introduce some major noise problems if you attempt to lighten it up. I would try a two things both of which I am almost certain you will have to run some noise reduction. One would be either a shadow highlights with both at 25 or a layer blend with screen at no more than about 40% and perhaps less depending on noise. A little tighter crop might be good also but lets see what others think first. #1220193

Debbie E. Payne December 27, 2009

Peter - I see that this has already gotten the judge's okay but I would like to see it straightened a bit and would also like to see Michael's changes even though the darkness doesn't really bother me. I hesitated to mention the straightening thing but doesn't need much and would add to the image in a positive way. #8249953

Peter W. Marks December 27, 2009

Thanks for your comments friends. The original version of this earned a Finalist badge inspite of the 'darkness'and being not 'straight'
I guess I might have had a winner if I had made similar adjustments back then!
The first time I submitted it I gave it a story line of 'trains passing in the night' and wanted the darkness to suggest this. To add to this illusion I had added a speed blur in another version to suggest movement.
This was very much a grabbed shot as I sat on a station platform two tracks away from this train and this young lady came to the window and stared across towards me. Of course the camera was safely zipped away in my bag so the shot was what it was, and then her train was gone.
#8250214

Peter W. Marks December 27, 2009

Yet another version, straightened as per Mikes suggestion.
#8250327

Michael Kelly level-classic December 27, 2009

Peter your finalist is a unique shot as you used motion blur to take out everything but the girl in the window. A fantastic idea and very well executed. Did you do a mask to keep her sharp? I think that having this one a little straighter might have helped push this forward beyond finalist, but you just don't know when you get to that level. With the blur the dark is no longer a problem so the straiten on the finalist is the only change I would have made.

The current shot with everything sharp needs both the straighten and the lighten in my opinion because you look into the dark areas where as your finalist strongly puts the focus on the girl. I don't think anything you could do with this one other than the motion blur would make it as strong as what you came up with for your finalist shot.

Well done! #8250399

Rita K. Connell level-classic December 27, 2009

Wow Peter well done is correct. I love the blur one I can see why you got a finalist on it. I agree with Mike finalist is a unique shot,I don't think anything you could do with this one other than the motion blur would make it as strong as what you came up with for your finalist shot.
very nice job Peter #8250545

Anthony L. Mancuso December 27, 2009

congrats on that finalist Peter..I think you captured an amazing expression on that girl, very mysterious and alluring...I have to agree the blur you applied really brings the image to the next level and probably not much you can do to improve it beyond that..great job getting this shot in such a fleeting moment.. #8250606

Peter W. Marks December 28, 2009

Thank you all so very much for your generous responses. And I am grateful to everyone on Phellos that is helping to up my game technically because I am much more focussed on whether there is a story, imaginary or otherwise in many of my images. I laugh to myself when Dale and others point out my crooked horizon or whatever, and in my mind compose a story of the photographer with one leg shorter than the other!
So thank you all again and I look forward to a coming year where we can push, pull, coerce, encourage, smile at, frown at and eventually, this time next year, look back through all our work and hopefully think "Wow!,we have come a long way!"
#8251071

Dale Hardin December 28, 2009

This is a neat thread Peter and your last posted message is one I'd like to work on this year. You're right that I tend to "see" all the details but that's just the way I'm wired. I also concentrated on these issues because I felt inadequate technically. But with the help I rec'd in BP those fears have diminished.

This year I resolve to concentrate more on your philosophy of image taking and will be requesting everyones help in that endeavor. By the way, the blurred shot really worked for me. It is great. #8251489

Peter W. Marks December 28, 2009

Many thanks old friend. And Mike I forgot you asked me a question re masking. No, I used the rectangle selection tool and just selected the window area. #8251513

Teresa H. Hunt December 28, 2009

Wow, Peter you really captured something in her expression. I love the one with the motion blur. I agree that straightening the original would improve the shot. I love the girl's expression. #8251533

Joan E. Hoffman December 28, 2009

This really reminds me of the movie Trainspotting from a few years back! I think you should take it all the way Peter and make the changes and resubmit! This is a extremely interesing and compelling shot! It all looks so mysterious... and dangerous! #8251746

Ellen H. Robertson level-classic December 28, 2009

Peter I too am drawn to the feel or story of a shot. I suck at the technical end of it and welcome the comments of those that can see what is needed. F-stops and shutter speeds still find me scrambling. And I have learned so much from everyone in this club.

I love all these shots, the girl in the window blows me away. I too love how you captured her exprseeion. #8251785

Aimee C. Eisaman December 28, 2009

I just love how she seems to be looking right at you. Made for a very powerful image and the motion blur one is really imaginative! At first glance I was thinking it would have benefited from her being brighter, but when you are shooting with available light sometimes that is just not possible. :~) #8251852

Peter W. Marks December 28, 2009

Teresa, Joan and Ellen, I thank each of you for your very kind comments. I do now feel compelled to do as suggested and rework the whole image, still with the blur but straight and bright! When I originally submitted it I could see that something was crooked but I couldn't decide what horizontal line on the train carriage(that's 'car' in American!) to use as my referance. Even now I am not sure. If I take it into Photoshop and pull down the horizontal guide and make the wooden step beneath the door level it also brings the very bottom of the blue side of the carriage which is dark but can be seen, level. However, the two red stripes appear to slant down to the right, especially the top one! On the last edited version above, the red lines look OK but now the step etc are most definitely sloping up and yet the overall appearance seems better. I guess it is some sort of optical illusion or perhaps the stripe painter was intoxicated!
What I am pleased about is that all you good folk can see that the image suggests a story and it is then up to each of us to compose that story in our minds. For me, I was taken back some 50 years to when I would catch the train from my college in London to my home in Cornwall. I would finish class and catch the night train home and yes, I still had memories of pretty young ladies also returning home at semester's end and I guess I needn't go on.....! Innocent nostalgia is a powerful thing. #8251953

Peter W. Marks December 28, 2009

Thank you too Aimee, your response must have been uploaded while I was typing my somewhat long-winded explanation, Can you tell I am retired with time on my hands!
Thanks again Aimee. #8251958

Dale Hardin December 28, 2009

Quick note Peter. If you straighten this shot use the vertical reference behind the girl as you've done in your sample. Don't worry about the horizontal lines because there is a bit of perspective involved and it looks natural. #8252002

To discuss, first log in or sign up (buttons are at top center of page).

Get Constructive Critiques

Sign up for an interactive online photography course to get critiques on your photos.


 

Did You Know?

Discussions by Category: You can view photo discussions on various themes in the Community > Photo Discussions section of the site.

BetterPhoto Websites: If you see an orange website link directly under the photographer's name, it's totally okay. It's not spam. The reason: BetterPhoto is the one that offers these personal photography websites. We are supporting our clients with those links.

Unavailable EXIF: If there is no other information but 'Unavailable' in the EXIF (meaning no EXIF data exists with the photo), the 'Unavailable' blurb is not displayed. If there is any info, it shows. Many photos have the EXIF stripped out when people modify the image and resave it, before uploading.


 

The following truth is one of the core philosophies of BetterPhoto:

I hear, I forget.
I see, I remember.
I do, I understand.

You learn by doing. Take your next online photography class.


BetterPhoto.com Editor's Pick


Copyright for this photo belongs solely to Peter W. Marks.
Images may not be copied, downloaded, or used in any way without the expressed, written permission of the photographer.
Log in to follow or message this photographer or report this photo.