BetterPhoto Q&A
Category: New Questions

Photography Question 
Christopher A. Walrath
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/25/2006
 

New from Walrath Technologies . . .


From the fine makers of the DIY Tripod Stability Bushing Made From Automotive Thermostat Self-adhering Gasket Material and the Flash-O-Matic 35MM Matchbox Pinhole Camera come two brand new items for your approval.

1. The All New '75mm Wollensak Anistigmat 4.5 MD Mount Bellows Style Adjustable Lens'. That's right, just take a perfectly working 6x6 Wirgin folder, remove the shutter/aperture/bellows assembly from the front window, remove the base only from a junk Minolta MD mount lens, electric tape them together et VIOLA! Presto chango. This baby, when focused to infinity has a near infinity focus when drawn back againast the MD mounting base and about a 18" (45cm) focal distance when fully extended. When focused at 3ft, it becomes a 4x macro lens. Perspective adjustments, rise, drop, shift, tilt, swing, this little diddy has got it all. And no need to figure out those friggin f stop thingies, the lens has the aperture built in with automatic, full-time DOF preview mode. All for the unbelieveable price of it didn't cost me one damn red cent. And also intorducing . . .

2. The brand new 'WALRA-LUX 2008'. The latest in medium format photography. All you need is the desire to rip apart your perfectly operational Wirgin 6x6 folder to mimic some online schlep's attempt at boredom and heresy in making some stupid-ass 35mm perspective bellows lens that probably won't work but what the hell. Cut out your cardboard pinhole board and cover it with electrical tape, mount a strip of aluminum foil to the inside, coat with a black Sharpie, pierce the hole, more electrical tape to mount the lensboard to the body, fabricate a cover with, you guessed it, MORE FRIGGIN CARDBOARD! Tape a hinge into it and HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA. You gotta brand new 60 year old redirected camera from post war Germany and the back of a Steno pad. Still working on the friggin f stop thingies on this beauty. And don't forget to cover that pesky tripod thread hole, it goes all the way through.

Almost got by me but here at Walrath Technologies we pride ourselves in being thorough. Dipsticks. Call to order today at 1-800-438-7325. That's 1-800-GET-REAL! Don't delay. Offer only good while supplies last. And what offer might that be you ask? Why, the chance to ridicule me. For FREE. Too good to pass up, you're absolutely correct. Thank you again. You've made me what I am today.

Walrath Technologies.
Wherever there's a stupid idea, well, we're probably somewhere nearby.

And for those who might wish to help me out here (no psychologists please, against the court order). After scraping yourself from the floor after bouts of hysterically raucous laughter, I made the pinhole with the end of a smaller sewing needle and the distance from the pinhole to the film plane is roughly 1 5/32" (~ 27mm) or so. I'm thinking the needle at about .1 mm so prob somewhere around f-270? Lemme know what you think. I suppose the thing to do would be to take the needle to work and mike it but then I would be carrying a limp, wrinkled lens, a box with cardboard electrical-taped all over it and a sewing kit. I'm not afraid of emasculation or anything but . . .
__________________
Thank you.
Chris


To love this question, log in above
3/18/2008 9:06:48 PM

 
Mark Feldstein
BetterPhoto Member Since: 3/17/2005
  I tried to make one of the things I think this is out of duct tape and visquine plastic. Needless to say, it didn't work. I do need at least one however, put me on the pre-order list. I just GOTTA have one !!! Walrath Techno. Better than Ronco any day !
Thanks Walrath Techno. Now I'm gonna go fall over with outright prolonged hysterically raucous laughter!!
Mark
=============================
BTW, has anyone seen that Bass-o-Matic Blender I've been looking around for?


To love this comment, log in above
3/19/2008 5:58:44 PM

 
Christopher A. Walrath
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/25/2006
  I hear Bud-Mart is carrying them. 19.99. They stock them right next to that picture of the dogs hunting the flying buttocks.

Chris


To love this comment, log in above
3/19/2008 6:16:11 PM

 
Samuel Smith
BetterPhoto Member Since: 1/21/2004
  i think I saw this on a red green show.ductape,mans best friend.
possum lodge.


To love this comment, log in above
3/19/2008 11:13:11 PM

 
Carlton Ward
BetterPhoto Member Since: 12/13/2005
Contact Carlton
Carlton's Gallery
carltonwardphoto.com
  Too funny - thanks Chris


To love this comment, log in above
3/19/2008 11:15:21 PM

 
Christopher A. Walrath
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/25/2006
  "If it's not broke, you're not trying."

"Keep your stick on the ice. We're all pullin' for ya."

"Possum Lodge. Located 168 beer stores north of Toronto."

I haven't seen The Red Green Show in years. I miss it.

Thanks
Chris


To love this comment, log in above
3/20/2008 2:14:02 PM

 
Mark Feldstein
BetterPhoto Member Since: 3/17/2005
  Maybe I'm confusing it with the episode that taught me how to make a spare long-distance gas tank out of duct tape. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Red Green is available with multiple episodes on CD. Lemme know if you need their address. I think it's from Canadian Public Broadcasting next door to Possum Lodge.
M.


To love this comment, log in above
3/20/2008 3:23:49 PM

 
Todd Bennett
BetterPhoto Member Since: 11/8/2004
  Hey Chris, I'll provide the financial backing for ya. Got about $50 in my pocket. Ya think it's enough to get started?


To love this comment, log in above
3/20/2008 5:06:41 PM

 
Samuel Smith
BetterPhoto Member Since: 1/21/2004
  i forgot the stick on the ice.


To love this comment, log in above
3/20/2008 8:46:46 PM

 
Christopher A. Walrath
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/25/2006
  Yeah, Mark. I'd like the addy. And, Todd, that will provide enough java for the brainstorming. Com'on ovwer and you can be a prtner. In on the ground floor and all.

Love ya all
Chris


To love this comment, log in above
3/21/2008 8:19:52 AM

 
Mark Feldstein
BetterPhoto Member Since: 3/17/2005
  Yep ! Count me in too, but under the ground floor rather than on it. LOL !!
M.


To love this comment, log in above
3/22/2008 10:04:32 PM

 
Christopher A. Walrath
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/25/2006
  Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

Darkroom in the basement. Now we're thinking with gas in the tank. No pun intended. Oops, guess there wasn't one then, was there. THAT'S WHY I NEED PEOPLE! And film. And coffee. Oh, and bourbon. And, uh, let's see, where was I? Oh, yeah, donuts . . .


To love this comment, log in above
3/24/2008 6:57:14 PM

 
Mark Feldstein
BetterPhoto Member Since: 3/17/2005
  Bourbon and doughnuts? What's that like?
M


To love this comment, log in above
3/24/2008 7:02:53 PM

 
Todd Bennett
BetterPhoto Member Since: 11/8/2004
  What kind of beer do you guys want. This bourbon thing isn't going to work.


To love this comment, log in above
3/24/2008 7:10:22 PM

 
Christopher A. Walrath
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/25/2006
  Guiness Draught and Tastykakes. Ya know, the cream filled ones with the chocolate frosting.


To love this comment, log in above
3/25/2008 5:06:16 PM

 

BetterPhoto Member
  Where do y'all live?????? They still show the red green show here in the Ozarks, right before the Beverly Hillbillies.


To love this comment, log in above
3/30/2008 5:09:24 PM

 
Samuel Smith
BetterPhoto Member Since: 1/21/2004
  possum lodge.


To love this comment, log in above
3/30/2008 10:18:25 PM

 
Carlton Ward
BetterPhoto Member Since: 12/13/2005
Contact Carlton
Carlton's Gallery
carltonwardphoto.com
  Just below Rattlesnake Ridge in Washington state


To love this comment, log in above
3/30/2008 11:40:01 PM

 
Christopher A. Walrath
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/25/2006
  Delaware where our beaches get bigger even though more and more sand washes out to see and we fight it with beach replenishment projects that suck sand from the sea to offset God's redecorating. Oh, and our taxes are going up.

Thanks
Chris


To love this comment, log in above
3/31/2008 4:39:36 PM

 
Todd Bennett
BetterPhoto Member Since: 11/8/2004
  Augusta, GA. Where the pollen is thick, the taxes are low and The Master Golf Tournament is king.


To love this comment, log in above
3/31/2008 4:50:02 PM

 
Log in to respond or ask your own question.