BetterPhoto Q&A
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Photography Question 
Rom A.G.
 

gay weddings


so whats the deal with gay weddings?
are they becoming more common place?
I mean the man-man/woman-woman kind, not the man-woman kind for those who think gay only means happy (as in 'The Gay Divorce').
Anyone here shot any? What's different about them? Anyone have a policy against them or refuse to shoot 'em?
Any photogs specialize in them?
do you have to be a gay photog (or preferred to be) to shoot one?


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7/5/2006 7:30:14 PM

 
Gregory LaGrange
BetterPhoto Member Since: 11/11/2003
gregorylagrange.org
  Well, considering all the other kinds of people you have to tolerate and the things they can think of, I think it's not going to be a big deal.









Maybe a lot more crying at the ceremony.


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7/5/2006 8:57:26 PM

 
Carolyn  M. Fletcher
BetterPhoto Member Since: 10/6/2001
Contact Carolyn
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PickYourShots.com
  They're people just like anybody else. Why would it be any different?


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7/6/2006 2:45:18 AM

 
Slim Brady 
BetterPhoto Member Since: 3/1/2006
  its totally natural, when it becomes legal, then they'll take it a step further. I liked the multiple wife thing. Twins would be nice. And we love animals...hmmmm


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7/6/2006 3:34:21 AM

 
Pat Worster
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/21/2004
  I have been wondering that myself. I would like yto be the first one to shoot one in my area but since it is not legal in Maine I guess I would have to do some traveling. I imagine they would be like any other wedding.


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7/6/2006 4:29:47 AM

 
Jagadeesh Andrew Owens   As an (unmarried) gay man, I have to echo what Carolyn said "What does it matter?"! No photographic differences that I can imagine. I'm not offended at ALL by your question, but I think that you've opened a potentially ugly can of worms when you ask other photographers' opinions and policies about shooting or not shooting gay weddings. This can lead to HOT debate and more than likely hurt feelings from the parties involved in the thread, or those who choose to read it, and I don't think this site is the place for that type of debate (IMHO). Your question indicates that you don't even (consciously) know a gay couple! (No offense, just an observation) I don't know any gay couple or person who would require a photographer to be gay! That's like a straight couple requiring their photographer to be straight! It doesn't happen!! Having said that, I would consider your motivations for wanting to shoot a gay wedding... is it because you're really open (or don't mind) to all kinds of love in all it's forms and manifestations and want to record the moment for the couple (and make money), or is it a spectacle you want to shoot to show to friends and say "Look at THIS!!" like it's a carnival sideshow?? I'm not assuming you're either one of those, I'm just saying that needs to be a consideration. Anyway, good luck and I genuinely hope no bigots or hateful people join the thread, it would be so disappointing.


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7/6/2006 6:02:05 AM

 
Kerry L. Walker   I would only shoot a gay wedding at Christmas time when the music is appropriate. (Don we now our gay apparel, fa la la la la la la la! LOL). Sorry, Sipho, I couldn't pass on that one. Not a bigot. Just have a wacky sense of humor.

Seriously, even though I have never been asked to shoot a gay wedding (or civil union) I don't think I would have any problem in doing so. After all, it really woundn't be much different than a straight wedding (and cound't be any less organized than the last wedding I shot - sheesh! Talk about a carnival sideshow!)

Yes, I do know gay people, some involved in a relationship and some not. One of the guys I know was my daughter's voice coach. Someone asked me if I had a problem with him being gay and I looked at him like he had lost his mind. The guy was gay, not a child molester! (Also had something to do with the fact that the guy had spent 30 years coaching on broadway too.) I guess my point here is that I don't ask a person's sexual preference or check out their race or national origin before I do business with them. I just want to know if we can work together (whether they are working for me or I am working for them.)


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7/6/2006 6:31:36 AM

 
Pat Worster
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/21/2004
  my opinion is that love is love and what difference does it make who it is. I don't condem anyone's lifestyle. Personally I have more problems with religious people trying to cram their way living down my throat than any problems with gay people. I happen to know several gay people and they are awesome. I would love to shoot a gay wedding just because it is a wedding, no matter who it is.


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7/6/2006 6:31:43 AM

 
Jagadeesh Andrew Owens   Yes Kerry, I know you have a wacky sense of humor, and no offense taken! And LOL @ the coach on Broadway (that must ALWAYS be capitalized) for thirty years!!! I'm not asking anyone to profess their beliefs in that thread or prove that you're "gay friendly"! I just posed some questions I felt needed to be (privately) considered.


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7/6/2006 6:58:48 AM

 
Christopher Budny
BetterPhoto Member Since: 10/3/2005
chrisbudny.com
  Hi Rom... I didn't see anything in your gallery suggesting that you might already photograph weddings, so your question puzzled me a little. Still, I'd second Sipho and Kerry... a wedding to photograph is a wedding to photograph. Whether a state-recognized wedding, or a private civil union, the concept is the same everywhere whenever 2 adults decide to join their lives together that way. I'd venture to guess that in the history of photographed weddings, heterosexuals have come up with an infinitely wider variety of locations, costumes, audiences, services, traditions and dramas to challenge a photographer, than gay unions have had even had time to contemplate in their relatively short existence. If you're contemplating offering your services to these unions, I can't imagine it would be any different than offering your services to a bride and groom; you need to meet your customers, understand the plan for the day, the photographic needs they have, certain moments, people, etc., that they want captured, plus bring your creative talent and skills and unique eye to the table, in what you can offer as a photographer.


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7/6/2006 7:03:17 AM

 
Kerry L. Walker   Yeah, I know Broadway is supposed to be capitalized. After all, it is a street name (been there) but my typing is like my looks - terrible!

I agree with your assertion that people should think before they post in this thread but I think that should be extended to all threads. Just think of other people's feelings before you post. Heck, if you feel the need to make fun of someone, use me! I do.


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7/6/2006 7:06:26 AM

 
Debby A. Tabb
BetterPhoto Member Since: 9/4/2004
  Well in responce to " ..do you have to be gay to shoot one..."
No.
After living and owning businesses in Palm Springs for over 15 years .
My husband and I found each of our business and ourselves to be very successful with the gay community.
they are generaly not the ones who sit and judge, and all they want is to be accepted and viewed with the same respect for thier lifestyles as everyone else does.
Most of our friends and co- workers prefer honesty and open conversation.
so just go in there and as in any other wedding, present your service. They will have no problem letting you know what they have in mind.
treat the whole thing again as any other wedding - with the utmost respect for the fact that this is thier "Big Day"
Do note the Ladies tend to be more conservitive then the guys, in some things.
you'll have a great time.


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7/6/2006 7:30:53 AM

 
Kerry L. Walker   "I liked the multiple wife thing. Twins would be nice."

I'm not too crazy about that idea. After all, there are only about 150 million women in this country so the chances of me finding another one who would have me are pretty slim!


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7/6/2006 7:30:56 AM

 
Carolyn  M. Fletcher
BetterPhoto Member Since: 10/6/2001
Contact Carolyn
Carolyn 's Gallery
PickYourShots.com
  I think the multiple wife thing sounds like a good deal. I could con her into doing all the stuff I don't want to do. LOL..and back to the subject, I'd think people would be happy that ANYBODY wants to get married now days.


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7/6/2006 7:47:16 AM

 
Kerry L. Walker   "I could con her into doing all the stuff I don't want to do."

My wife says that is what she has me for.


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7/6/2006 7:50:39 AM

 
Brendan Knell
BetterPhoto Member Since: 4/17/2005
  Lol! You guys are hilarious!

I also agree with the general consensus that it wouldn't be any different than a straight wedding.

Well Rom, from your post, I can't tell whether you want to or don't want to do a gay wedding. Everyone else has adressed wanting to do one. So lets say you don't want to do one. I think the best thing to do, would be to just politely decline. Don't even say that it's because they're gay. Just say that you don't think you're the best photographer for them.


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7/6/2006 10:19:11 AM

 
Debbie Del Tejo
BetterPhoto Member Since: 6/30/2005
  Gee, I wonder if I have to be black to shoot a black couples wedding???? or maybe do I have to be a midget to shoot a midget's wedding????
#1 problem with the world today.....we love labels...

love is love is love is love...no color or race or gender....it is what it is,plain and simple....a beautiful thing!


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7/6/2006 12:02:00 PM

 
Kerry L. Walker   Yes, Debbie. Now you have it. That's why I specialize in shooting weddings where the groom is overweight, balding and over 50. LOL


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7/6/2006 12:07:53 PM

 
Carolyn  M. Fletcher
BetterPhoto Member Since: 10/6/2001
Contact Carolyn
Carolyn 's Gallery
PickYourShots.com
  I agree with you all! Let's all be happy for whoever can find somebody they want to share their life with.


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7/6/2006 12:26:01 PM

 
Bob Cammarata
BetterPhoto Member Since: 7/17/2003
  I'd love to see more gay weddings.
(I'm in the catering business and we could sure use the extra income.) ;)
...How about divorce parties!(...Now there's a thought.)

All kidding aside,...a contract is a contract and everyone's money is green so it shouldn't matter what you're being paid to shoot.


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7/6/2006 2:56:32 PM

 
Gregory LaGrange
BetterPhoto Member Since: 11/11/2003
gregorylagrange.org
  "... maybe do I have to be a midget to shoot a midget's wedding???? "

No, just knee pads


"...My husband and I found each of our business and ourselves to be very successful with the gay community.
they are generaly not the ones who sit and judge,..."

Try walking by them when you're wearing clothes that are out of style.


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7/6/2006 3:06:39 PM

 
Debbie Del Tejo
BetterPhoto Member Since: 6/30/2005
  You just HAVE to stir the water here...you must be a comedian.


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7/6/2006 3:17:38 PM

 
Dennis Flanagan
BetterPhoto Member Since: 12/31/2005
  Just like any other photo shoot, you decide what you want to shoot. Period!


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7/6/2006 9:15:05 PM

 
Jagadeesh Andrew Owens   LMAO @ Gregory!!!!!!


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7/7/2006 5:10:52 AM

 
Slim Brady 
BetterPhoto Member Since: 3/1/2006
  I will only shoot good looking couples


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7/7/2006 8:25:46 AM

 
Slim Brady 
BetterPhoto Member Since: 3/1/2006
  or rich (cause they pay right away or at all)


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7/7/2006 8:43:30 AM

 
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