* * * *

A. Because He Felt Crummy! #1562012

A.The ultra-sound guy.

I ask: Who takes over when he's on holiday?

A. The hip-replacement guy. #10964632

PINK SLIPPERS TIME for you Wm?
#10964644

UB. #10964646

To get to the hospital & tell you to hurry and get well!

Expensive Doctor

A man wasn't feeling well, and asked one of his co-workers to recommend a physician.

"I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that."

The man went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced.

"I'm back!"

Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined him and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."

Next!

One fella walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. "Shingles," he said. So she took down his name, address and medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had. "Shingles," he said. So she took down his height, weight, complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.

A half-hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. "Shingles," he said. So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test and an electrocardiogram. Then she told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. "Shingles," he said. The doctor asked, "Where?"

He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them? #10964649

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his left leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain.

The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I'm sorry, but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there's nothing I can do about it."

The old man replies with a look of disbelief, "That's impossible! It is illogical! That just can't be!"

The doctor says, "What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's NOT old age?"

The patient answers, "I'm no doctor, but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you're mistaken. After all, my right leg feels just fine."

"So what?" says the doctor in a bit of a professional huff, "What difference does that make?"

"Well the right one doesn't hurt a bit, and it's exactly the SAME AGE!"

Hope these have you in stitches...well, maybe not! LOL Wishing you a speedy recovery! #10964652

This is a you-tube vid of a Simon's Cat episode. I never get tired of them and they never fail to make me laugh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dm_2G-rIOs

Get Well!
Cindy #10964656

Carol, what fun jokes!!! I bet Tony will love them! :D

There is no family like the BP Family!!

-Laura :D #10964657

Good to see you, our Resident Moon Goddess!

The youtube needed an HTML code. I fetched it for you so Tony can see it! Here it is. :) Thanks so much for this fun youtube and your sweet wishes!

#10964658

So, Tony: I understand you like to laugh. Hope the following gives you a smile or two:

Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure...

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now!
*****
Hope those helped a bit.
And I REALLY hope you're up and about faster than anyone else in the hospital! Prayers and fingers crossed for you!!
You can also go to this link for a get-well card:

http://www.betterphoto.com/gallery/big.php?photoID=14368694&catID=&style=&rowNumber=1&memberID=45394
#10964823

http://www.greatcleanjokes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/doctor-humor1.jpg

With Miss Laura and all her friends laughing with you, you will laugh all the way to health! #10964913

I am nobody, and nobody is perfect,
therefore, I am perfect.

Wishing Tony a perfect recovery! #10965100

OH, JUST GET WELL SOON!!!

We are all here for you,
Cheering you on....

8o) #10965102

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Helloooo,............ just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year... that these windows would pay for themselves in a year.

Hellooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

#10969523

Hope you are recovering!

~pat and graham
#10969624

I have an update from Chris that just came in today. Her computer was ac ting up so she asked that I left you guys know: (Here it is below).

* * *

Tony is getting a little better everyday but I think may have a longer recovery process than we first thought.
Today the doctors are having a meeting to decide on further treatment & whether he'll stay in hospital or come home & go back twice a week for a day's therapy. #10978251

UB. #10978434

G’day Sister Laura,

We had a phone call from Chris yesterday to let us know how Tony is progressing. The report is very encouraging, he is coming along in leaps and bounds at physio and the doctors are very pleased with him! He is still not 100% yet but it looks like he will make just about a full recovery! He still has his moments, he was trying to button his shirt in the car the other day and wondered why he was having trouble, Chris told him it would be an easier job if he took his seat belt off! That’s our Tony!

I hope you are surviving your cold winter OK, today is the first day of autumn here and I am really sorry to see the end of summer. We still have 5 weeks to go before daylight saving ends!

Well I am about to log off the computer now, so I will say cheerio and see you later

Best wishes

Brother John. #10990263